Who knew?

So, who knew that this would be so tough?  Obviously, I knew that it would be a challenge and that I would be stretched, BUT COME ON.  I've only been in NY for 17 days and I've already learned so much about me, about ministry and about me in ministry.  Don't get me wrong, its great... its just hard.  Everything about it is hard.

If you know me at all, you know I'm kinda spoiled and I like nice things.  Well, I'm living in the ghetto.  I must confess that I knew I would be long before I boarded a plane.  However, I somehow had the wrong impression of what the ghetto would be like. CFNI students have no idea how good they have it.  I now long for the "luxury" of Agape and Cornerstone.  I know what you're thinking, "Crystal, its the mission field, its supposed to be hard and you're being quite superficial."  Well, don't worry...that's exactly what God said.  Except He added one more important detail: the conditions in which I live are almost 100% better than that of most of the kids around here.  I have running water, hot food, a bed of my own and people who care enough to keep those good things coming.  Please pray for the kids of this city that go days without food and years without anyone who really cares about their needs.  Pray that God will give me the right things to say to these kids - kids that have little in common with a semi-suburban girl like me.

When I signed up for an internship, I assumed certain things.  I assumed that I would watch the professions do their thing and I would just learn by gleaning.  I assumed that they wouldn't give me a lot of responsibility because, after all, this 30 year old ministry has a reputation to uphold.  I assumed that I would be more of a student than anything else.  I was soooo wrong.  Of course that's what happens when you assume, right? Right! 

I have been assigned to an area in The Bronx that will minister to 100's of kids each Wednesday though what is known as "Sidewalk Sunday School".  I'll be apart of a team that takes out a big yellow truck that opens into a stage and we will have 3 Sunday school sessions for the local kids.  Then every Friday I personally visit the school and homes of these kids to invite them back to the next week's meetings, invite them and their families to church, pray for them and just love them with the love of Christ.  Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll be helping my team facilitate Sunday school for other kids in other areas of The Bronx. That's only the beginning folks - I'll have to tell you about what we do on the weekends on a different post.

You may be wondering to yourself now "is it terrifying to go out into a new area and boldly proclaim that Jesus is the only way?"  Yes and No.  Yes, I'm terrified, because I'm obviously an outsider; even though my skin is dark, they know I'm not one of them.  But, no, I'm not terrified, because Jesus IS the only way and I'll proclaim that fact until I leave this earth to be with Him.

But more important than what God is teaching me about ministry is what He's teaching me about me.  God is showing me that certain things about my personality that I previously thought were endearing are actually just annoying.  And although I miss my friends a lot, its good spending time with people that don't really know me - it gives me a chance to decide to just be me. So, maybe I exaggerated a little when I say that everything about being here is hard.  Watching God work in my life day by day is worth it all and I wouldn't trade the spankings He gives for anything.

I love you family and friends : )